ESL21B

EASSY 1.2

TOPIC #1

Cultural Differences

People in this world have many different characteristics and appearances, and the common habits and values that people share are considered as a culture of a country where those people live. Different countries have different cultures, and people in different countries have different habits and values. Since I studied in America, I discovered that several differences in cultures between America and my own country, China. According to Gary Althen, in the article" American values and assumptions," the most important and obvious value and assumption of Americans is individualism, which is almost totally different withPreposition China. {***}ChoppyThere are three major cultural differences between America and China which are value [[that is placed]]MissingW on equality, {***}Artfuture and {***}Artenvironment,{***}Conj/Trans informality.

    One of the biggest differences is the value{***}MissingW on future and environment, and this is the reason why America has more advanced technology and faster development than China. American believesSing/Plu that they can control their future and environment, and they can do everything by their own hands. AmericanSing/Plu will find some methods to change and modify their environment so that it is suitable and desirable for them. For example, American produces the aircraft because they believe that people can overcome and move to the spaceAwkward, and they help them to achieve their goals. Although American believes in the God, they still try to change the environment by their own hands. In contrast, Chinese is totally different [[in]]MissingW that they have a fatalistic attitude toPreposition the environment. Chinese believesSing/Plu that everything in this world should exist together in a harmonic way, so they will not do anything that damage or change their environment. The way to cure illness in China is the best example to proveWChoice this value and assumption. Chinese never damage the body to cure illness, and they use the herbs to deal with different disease because they believe that the body and the environment are relative and can be neutralized by a harmonic way. On the other hand, American will choose to do a surgery o the patient instead of using the herbs. This difference is the most obvious one between American and Chinese.

    Beside of the difference in value on future and environmentGood!, equality is another difference in culture [[between the two countries]]. According to Gary Althen, he notices thatCut everyone in America has the same basic identity and opportunity to do what they want to do and have basic level of respectful treatment. There is not much discrimination in America, and disabled person usually has better treatment to compensate with his/her inconvenience. Comparing with Chinese, they usually focus on the position and ability of a person. Chinese always talks about the position in society, and different levels of identity will have a big difference in what they have. That is why the problem of "richer getting richer, poor getting poor" is still snowballing in China.{1}

American are generally more informal than Chinese. American will not use the appearance and clothes to measure a person, and they treat other people in an informal manner. However, Chinese value a person by his/her appearance, and they think the appearance is so important for everyone. Furthermore, Chinese think that men and women cannot touch each other if they are not a couple, but this is totally different with American because they only consider this behavior for a relationship of two good friends. For insteadAwkward American girl can give a goodbye kiss for just saying goodbye, but this is considered as immoral behavior in China. In the ancient China, if man and woman are treating each other so close and friendAwkward, they may be prosecuted just because of their behavior. For aWChoice worst case, they may be killedVTense because of a reason that{2} being immoral and polluting social moral. This is a good example to show that different countries have a very big difference in culture, and those cultures can be so important.???

In conclusion, there are cultural differences between America and my own country such as value of equality, future and environment, and the informality. These cultural differences make two countries more special, and they are also so important in the history of country development. In my opinion, these are noWForm any "wrong" and "undesirable" {***}MissingWof foreign cultures because everything has both positive and negative side. We should learn how to respect other cultures instead of complaining as they may worth to learnAwkward in different perspectives.

 

Grade 78

Statistics

InstancesDescription
2Article error
1Conjunction/Transition error
1Cut -- this text is not necessary
4Missing word or words
2Wrong or misused preposition
3Singular/plural error
1Verb tense
2Poor word choice
1Word form
1Incomprehensible text
1Good!
4Awkward sounding but understandable phrases/sentences. Non-idiomatic.
1The text seems choppy here, as if it jumps from one idea to another without making a smooth connection or understanding why.
Negative total: 26
Positive total: 1

 

Feedback (1)
Your ideas need to be more fully developed, discussed, and supported.

Your essay is too short and does not meet my length requirements, 875 to 1250 words (3.5 to 5.0 pages).

Your essay should incorporate at least 3 references to our readings.

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