21b <1761>

Essay #1.2, Topic #1

07.05.07

The earthsSing/Plu {***}Capitalization haveS/VAgreement 243 countries and 243 different cultures in the worldRepetition. When people don't know culture in a foreign country, who will get a troubleAwkward so most people think adjusting and know about each countryWForm culture is really important for their life. Today, people form many other culture rush to the U.S. for business, travel and studying. Every country has different cultures that make different values. Americans have some values that foreigners seldom understand, so the foreigners might face culture difficultiesWChoice. An extremely important concept among American values is their individualism. If visitors or immigrants figure out this value, theSpl can reduce cross- cultural problems. Well in every country have aAwkward different or opposite culture but it is not wrong that is just undesirable to foreigners.

Many Visitors might feel {***}MissingWwhen they arrive here, but maybe this feeling is from misunderstanding about individualism. It means, 'to refer to the behaviors of someone who likes to think and do things in their own way, rather than imitating other people.' It is Americans thinking and hard to understanding to other culture of peopleAwkward. Most foreigners say that when they first set foot here, they thought Americans were not friendly because they kept others at a distance. For instance, a number of international students who have home stay here used to feel the host family was not warm toward them. This caused a few international students to have feelings of separation because they do not know this is a form of individualism. Some students get feeling that is wrong because it is not the polite thing in their culture. However, if they find the information about American's individualism, who don't thinking that is wrong.Awkward

Americans are not dependent and they think that people have to be able to make their own decisions. They have usually been trained to be independent, but visitors say that this is not appropriate because Americans and foreigners have different point of view by their culture. For example, people often see American parents letting children decide what to purchase or how to spend their money at markets. Korean considers this unacceptable behavior because they think children are too young to decide how to spend their money for buying something. In our culture, children used parents to teach them but American parents get their kids ready to live alone and help kids to be responsible in their choices. Someone could say that Americans are very strict about their kids. The Americans way of living is different from foreigners. Most important thing is that set children on their feet is better than their success to parents. The American perception of responsibility is often perceived as being distant by people of other cultures.

Individualism trait started formation of America by their history.Awkward Most Americans came form different countries and they were also colonists. They had need to responsibleAwkward to their decision about immigration, which have give up their custom, hometown and neighbors to the New World. They also believe that individualismsSing/Plu {***}Count/Non-Count inspire people to overcome difficult situation. People in the U.S. think rich people overcame difficult times to achieve success. Americans think that spirit of individualism; for example, American movie expiations??? their individualism about colonist. Some cowboy movie showed American exploit new lands and become heroes. They won in the face of adversity. This historical point of view helped to develop the modern concept of the individual.

In short, although a lot of people form other cultures consider Americans cold and materialistic, if foreigners can comprehend the American idea of individualism. Different culture is hard to receptive to foreignersAwkward but it is not wrong that is just undesirable to come form other culture. When people more easily understand other culture, find information about different culture of the country. If they can break down some of the barriers who have gains insight to a new culture.

 

Grade 68

Statistics

AbbreviationDescription
S/VAgreementSubject/verb agreement error
CapitalizationCapitalization error
Count/Non-CountCount/non-count error
MissingWMissing word or words
Sing/PluSingular/plural error
RepetitionRepetition of information or phrase
SplSpelling
WChoicePoor word choice
WFormWord form
???Incomprehensible text
AwkwardAwkward sounding but understandable phrases/sentences. Non-idiomatic.

 

Feedback (1)
Your essay is too short and does not meet my length requirements, 875 to 1250 words (3.5 to 5.0 pages).

Your ideas need to be more fully developed, discussed, and supported.

Your thesis statement should ideally not only introduce the topic that you'll be talking about but also contain a "controlling idea" which the essay as a whole is trying to support.

What are possible negative consequences if this cultural pattern is not followed?

What are possible negative consequences if this cultural pattern is not followed?
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