E.S.L 21 B

1761

7/6/07

essay1.2, Tepic#2

    My country Iran has many unique traditions and cultural values. Some are acceptable and pleasing, some are not. As a Persian girl, born and raised in Iran, I am familiar toPreposition all of our values and beliefs and know exactly how to behave in the social environments. Yet, if a foreigner comes to Iran, he/she will get really confused. Iranian people are really nice to foreigners and are well known for their hospitality and kindness, although, some Iranian traditions and attitudes can cause intercultural misunderstandings. The religious beliefs, the Persian formal compliments and offers and jokes, and the political situations are the three main reasons of the conflicts that often happen during foreigner's visits of Iran.

    First and foremost, Iranian common??? and sometimes extraordinary compliments, offers and jokes [and inside jokes], are usually the headWChoice reasons for misunderstandings. Tourists and foreigners should be aware and prepared to hear and face these funny compliments and offers. It may seem rude to visitors, but people wouldVForm do it. aCapitalization good example of these compliments is offering the costumers and clients free service and items which are not free . inCapitalization Iran when you go shopping and want to buy something[it is almost the same for a house or a chocolate bar!!!], you often hear common offers, that you can have the things you want for free and to oCut be the seller's guest! I have seen tourists taking these offers seriously and having problem with the shop later on. Because the sales man does not mean what he/she offers you. There would be a big fight between the visitor and the owner, etc. and the visitor gets arrested for shoplifting. unfortunatelyCapitalization people in Iran always join the fights and make it worse,Punctuation ifCapitalization the police gets involved they would arrest the visitor because of disturbing the peace and starting a fight. Another problem is that police often takes the Iranian people's side and doesn't protect the visitors.

    Second, IraniansWForm beliefs play a big role in their daily life and activities. Some people value their religious beliefs more than social manners. Strict people don't always care if someone is not familiar with their religious values, laws and rules, including foreigners. They expect everyone to act completely compatibleWChoice to their own high level of standards. This can be another major reason toPreposition conflicts. If a foreigner don'tS/VAgreement obey the existing rules, he/she can get arrested for disrespecting the law and religious values .theCapitalization law would not support anyone, Iranians and visitors, in such cases. I have heard stories about people visiting Iran, denyingWChoice religious values, getParallel arrested and serveParallel a couple of months in prison, which can get them in bigger troubles and bring a hard time for them, with bad memories of Iran. Foreigners can avoid the conflicts by fully respecting formal religious beliefs .for instance clothing and fashion is limited in Iran, regarding to religious rules. There is a dress code called "cover", chosen /picked by religious leaders in Iran. It is necessary for anyone to dress like the chosen form, otherwise people, especially girls can get arrested and go to jail maybeCut.

    To conclude, foreigners always give Iranians good feedbacks. Even though they experience different good and bad local attitudes and see our traditions, it is best for them to know the law and try to adjust with rules.

 

Grade 71

Statistics

AbbreviationDescription
S/VAgreementSubject/verb agreement error
CapitalizationCapitalization error
CutCut -- this text is not necessary
ParallelParallel construction problem
PrepositionWrong or misused preposition
PunctuationPunctuation
VFormVerb form
WChoicePoor word choice
WFormWord form
???Incomprehensible text

 

Feedback (1)
Your essay is too short and does not meet my length requirements, 875 to 1250 words (3.5 to 5.0 pages).

Your ideas need to be more fully developed, discussed, and supported.

Your essay should incorporate at least 3 references to our readings.

One of your next challenges will be to edit your essay for accuracy in language, academic tone.
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