ESL 21 B

Essay # 1

Section: 1761

July 6, 2007

A culture is a collection of values and assumptions that shape the way a group of people comprehend and relates them to the world around them. People who live in a particular culture share certain values and assumptions, and most of time most of timeCut agree with each other's ideas about what isCut what is right and what is wrong and that are transmitted from generation to generation through learning. But when a group of people migrate to a different culture or community, they would encounter major differences in values and assumption from where they grew up or lived for a long time.{***}Choppy Although there are several differences between American and afghan culture, butCut three important culturallyWForm differences are method of dating, respect to parents, and privacy.

In Afghanistan, boys and girls are not allowed to talk or have a free relationship with each other, unless they have beenVTense family or relative. The only places they can talk and transmitWChoice their ideas are public places like school. When a boy and a girl love each other, it is not enoughAwkward to have relationshipVague with each other. At first he has to talk to his parents and satisfy them to go to daughter's houseAwkward and suit her for himCut. The agreement of daughter's father is very important in this amongCut. And if he disagrees with their dating, they can not marry with each other and he should agree with their marriageExplain. After he satisfiedVForm, then they are going toVTense talk about ceremonies, date and expenses of weeding. And finally after weeding they will be allowed to have relationship. {***}ChoppyWhile in America, the agreement of a girl and a boy is the most important thing. And if they love each other, no one prevents them from dating and they can have any kinds of relationships they want.

Afghanistan is a traditional society and traditions are very important to Afghanistan people. Respecting to parents is a part of Afghanistan tradition. They believe it is their duty to live with their parents and take care of them, especially when they become elder and are not able to work and take care of them selves. It is unusual for afghan people to see somebody lives apart from his or her parents and has his or her own live. And if somebody lives apart from his or her parents, he or she will be flagrant and eventually nobody will ask him or her for none.Awkward Because they think living apart from parents shows he or she doesn't need his or her parents anymore and he or she doesn't care about them. While in America, the idea of individual freedom has strong positive connotation and very few of American people believe that their personal destiny is to serve their parents. Gary Althen in the book "A Guide for Foreigners in the united states" said that many Americans do not display the degree of respect for their parents that people in more traditional or family-oriented societies commonly do. From their point of view, being born to particular parents was a sort of historical or biological accident. The parents fulfilled their responsibilities to the children while the children were young, and now that the children have reached "the age of independence," the close child-parent tie is loosened, occasionally even broken. For Americans it is very important to have their own goals and occupation in life. And they trained to see themselves as individuals. When they finish high school, they expect to live apart from their parents, and live as independent person. Gary Althen in the book "A guide for Foreigners in the united States" said that it is not unusual for Americans who are beyond the age of about twenty-two (and sometimes younger) and who are still living with their parents to pay their parents for room and board. Elderly parents living with their grown children may do likewise. Paying for room and board is a way of showing independence, self-reliance, and responsibility for oneself.

Privacy is another culture difference between American and afghan cultures. Afghan people believe that friends and families should see each other every few days, and when they see each other, they shake hands, and then ask about their families. And if families and friends do not see each other in every few days, they think something has happened to him or him or her. Afghan people like to be together for long time and talk about different subjects that have happened in the past or recently. When someone from their families comes from foreign countries, or long distance they invite him or her and other families with him at their house and prepare the best meals for him or her to shows they are close to each other. When someone invites you to his home, you have to go to his house or send someone from your family to his house. Otherwise, he will think you are angry with him. And next time when you invite him at your home, he will not come to your home. Moreover, there is no concept of privacy among afghan people. While Americans believe that privacy is the necessary of lifeAwkward and people need some time to be alone. Gary Althen in the book "A Guide for foreihners in the United States" said that Americans assume that people "need some time to themselves" or "some time alone" to think about things or recover their spent psychological energy. American have great difficulty understanding people who always want to be with another person, who dislike being alone. Americans tend to regard such people as weak or dependent.

In sum, culture donates the whole product of an individual, group or society of human beings that live in a particular society at a particular time and place. Similarities and differences between cultures have strong effect on relationship among nations. But we have to respect to other cultures, because each culture has consisted of values and assumptions that are valuable for the people who created that culture.